What kind of hugger are you?

What Kind of Hugger are you?

This past weekend I was caught up in thinking about hugs and huggers. It started off because I had one of those blue days where I was just sad and I felt like I was in desperate need of a hug, which then led me to think even more about the many hugs I’ve experienced and given along the way. And then I ended up coming up with the following categorization of huggers.  Where do you fall in the list?

Sider slider – We have all experienced or even delivered this kind of hug. Sider sliders are slick. You reach out to hug them and somehow you end up getting a squeeze around the shoulders, from a side angle. The side sliders keep it safe. They don’t want to be rude, but they also don’t feel comfortable with full blown hugs.

The Pros- The Pros are confident huggers. They know just how much to squeeze and exactly how long to hug. They usually keep it casual with a small tap on the back that seems like the “this hug is ending” signal. The Pros can read people like a book-they know who to hug and who not to hug.

 Hugaphobic – This category describes an individual who would spray raid on someone, anyone who attempted to hug them. If you have even attempted to hug an individual in this category, you probably remember that dreaded feeling that you were on the verge of death the moment you wrapped your arms around the person, but it was too late to pull back. You were committed. And once you survived the encounter, you will never make the mistake again.

The Free Hugger- The individuals in this category of hugging probably own a “free hugs” t-shirt. No not really ;). These people walk around fearlessly giving hugs. In fact, don’t expect or even try to leave the presence of a free hugger without getting a hug. They will come find you. “I will find you….and I will hug you.”

photo credit: coolspoters.com

Anaconda Hugger- Anaconda Huggers believe in squeezing love into people. Once you are in the grip of an anaconda hugger, take a deep breath- it may be the last breath you get to take for the next few minutes. Anaconda Huggers are usually people with huge hearts…and strong arms.

Oh Wait! You are just an Acquaintance Hugger- Huggers in this group aren’t much for hugging people they don’t know very well, but they will do it. If you have ever been on the other end of a hug delivered by a person in this category you probably remember reaching out for a firm hug (because you’ve watched them saying good byes to their friends and they give them firm, back slapping hugs)  and then felt them just slip away and the hug is over before it even began. You walk away literally feel like you’ve just been hugged by a mannequin that thought you smelled bad (and thinking I thought we were friends!).

Awkward hugger- Individuals in this group feel lost. They don’t know when to give a hug, when not to give a hug. They don’t know how long to “embrace” so it is either too long or too short. They don’t know whether to give a side hug or a full hug…and usually it ends up being a weird combination of the two. And the poor awkward huggers can’t recognize a hugaphobic when they see one….it can get ugly.

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Out of all of these categories of huggers I am a little bit of an awkward hugger and the Oh Wait! You are just an Acquaintance Hugger. Hugging friends and family is something that just comes naturally but,…I don’t know you… I don’t know you very well…I just don’t know what to do! To hug or not to hug?

We should all try to hug more. Hugs make us feel safe, they make us feel happy, they make us feel loved. If  you aren’t comfortable hugging everyone, that’s OK! Hug the people close to you…hug them more often. We all need hugs (even those of us who don’t really like getting them!)…we all need to know we are cared about. The Huffington Post has an interesting article on the health benefits of hugging called, “7 Reasons Why We Should Be Given More Hugs”. find it here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/27/health-benefits-of-huggin_n_5008616.html

Poem, The Girl With Thick Framed Glasses

This is a poem I started a long time ago and finally picked up last week and finished.

The Girl With Thick Framed Glasses

Behind her glasses

Those thick-lined frames

She was one of those people everyone passes,

Disappearing in a sea of names.

Brown hair pulled into a ponytail

A smile touched her pink lips

Her skin was freckled and pale

Her cheeks the color of rose tips.

She worked in the college café

Ringing up orders, making frappes

And by brewing coffee, saving the day-

At least mine, anyway.

The girl that no one for sure knew

Was the one my throat got tight around

When I tried to say “Hi”, my legs turned to glue

My palms got sweaty, my heart would pound.

Behind those thick framed glasses

Were her beautiful eyes-

The color of ginger and molasses-

The love in them stretched to the skies.

To the world she was just a cashier

That rang up their orders each day,

No one noticed her brown hair

Shine when the sun hit it a certain way.

To the world she may not have mattered much,

Just the coffee stop on the way to their classes-

So many lives she did subtly touch,

The girl behind the thick framed glasses.

Talk to the girl that visits your dreams

Who is an angel, just without wings.

Talk to the give with the sweet face,

Whose movements are all touched with grace.

On the last day of school I had one chance

To ask her to the end of year dance.

I walked into the café-

But I couldn’t find the words to say.

“She already has a date,” I thought

“Tell her how you feel!” My courage fought.

She was the girl I longed to know-

She was beautiful, but I couldn’t tell her so.

I paused and looked at her once more-

And turned back, and out the door.

I am the girl with thick framed glasses

The girl that everyone passes

The girl that no one notices in a crowd

Even though I’m screaming so loud.

I’m the girl that needs to know

That in the middle of hundreds of lights,

Someone sees my glow.

I’m the girl that needs to know

That in this big world I am not alone

That I am wanted and longed to be known.

I wrote this with the thought that someone out there may NEED to know they are cared about. Someone out there may NEED YOU. Don’t just assume they know you care…..tell them.

Jane Austen…random thoughts

I heard a quote yesterday by Jane Austen that I absolutely loved and never heard before. So of course I thought it would only be right if I share it with my fellow bloggers.

“If adventures will not befall a young lady in her own village, she must seek them abroad.”

-Jane Austen

Jane, I couldn’t agree with you more! I have been feeling the need to find new adventures myself and well…I suppose I should start thinking about leaving my “village”.

All day long, I had Jane Austen on my mind. I’ve been a big fan since I was really little and watched “Pride and Prejudice” the Wishbone version. Did any one else ever watch that show Wishbone with the Jack Russel Terrier? After that I developed an obsession. I have seen almost every version of Pride and Prejudice out there (A & E version is the BEST!), Emma, Sense and Sensibility, etc. I felt like I had a connection with Jane Austen because (before my youngest sister was born) there were 5 girls in my family and no boys. My Mom would even call us the “Bennet” family. Today, as I was reminiscing, while trying not to get hit by the aggressive shoppers pushing carts in Walmart (they are especially vicious in the Walmart closest to my house-if you are in the way you better move fast! Once I wasn’t “hasty” enough for one woman and she rammed me in the heels and then swerved around me without even acknowledging me and my bruising ankle. It felt like a hit and run!) I decided I should see if there were any Austen Era novels available in Walmart’s book section. The only one I found was “Death at Pemberly” or maybe it is “Murder at Pemberly”. I decided to go ahead and buy it, I mean at least it wasn’t those ridiculous zombie books, “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” (remember those books?…eessh!). I’ve always loved mystery books and obviously I love Pride and Prejudice so maybe this mash-up could be a great thing…we’ll see.

While I’m going on about Pride and Prejudice I actually had a potential book idea pop into my mind. Mary is the boring, dull and forgotten sister. I thought, maybe I should write a book about her? Tell her story.  The Forgotten Sister, The Quiet One.…I can see it now…

What is the most recent book you’ve read?  Is there a “forgotten” character in a book that you would like to write about, share their story? Are you starting a new adventure?

A gallery of what happens to me before, during and after an interview

For several days I have been preparing for an interview…it was just a phone interview but I wanted to be ready. If you are anything like me interviews TERRIFY you. I get sweaty palms, a wildly beating heart, butterflies in my stomach. My fear is that my mind will go completely blank (it’s the same sort of thing that happens to me when I stand up and give a speech…it’s awful!) and I will have no idea what to say. I decided to take a bunch of pictures of what happens to me before…during and after an interview. Enjoy!! (you also get a lovely view of my bathroom!) What do you do to prepare for an interview? Are you as cool as cucumber? What’s the most intense interview you’ve been on? What’s the most “chill” interview you’ve been on?

Before the interview: Cool and collected…I so have this!

15 minutes before the interview…WHAT AM I DOING???? Terror and fear.

That moment when they call you into the office…

How I actually look during the interview.

How I THINK I look during the interview…

How I FEEL during the interview…

When you walk out of the interview…YAY!!!!! It’s over!!!

I think I did a pretty good job…it I say so myself..

Suddenly going over the interview in my mind…Did I really say that???

Analyzing…

I said that too???AAHHH!! What was I thinking??

Hmmm….
self doubt and wondering if I will get the dreaded, “we decided to move on with more experienced candidates “email.

Novel Update: Inspiration from C.S. Harris

I haven’t been blogging too much the past couple weeks because….

I’ve been EDITING…(and hiking and such for the Memorial Day weekend) and writing the first few pages of the second novel. Much of the work I have been doing is building better flow, building better suspense, and building better characterization and descriptions. The Sebastian St. Cyr Mystery series by C.S. Harris has been the inspiration I need! If you haven’t heard of or read this series you are missing out! A basic description of the series characterizes the main character, Sebastian as a cross between Mr. Darcy and James Bond. He is pretty much a crime fighting, murder solving English gentleman.  And there is a little touch of romance…always makes a book good! C.S. Harris is amazing at creating plot twists and adds lots of surprises that kept me turning the pages. She also describes the many people or places in her book with simple sentences…and exactly the right words.Basically her books are a fabulous read. 

I went pouring through my novel cutting out unnecessary sentences and paragraphs and making sure my characters were REAL. The last thing I want in the world is to have cheesy characters and just a plain boring book.

What am I working on today? Re-write of the first 30 pages. Those 30 pages have been my downfall. I want to make them…gripping…yet give the necessary information that sets up the story and gives a picture of the characters. Wish me luck!

What book or books have been helpful/inspirational to your writing?

Inspiration: Don’t Quit

Inspirational quote of the day:

“We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse.”
by Rudyard Kipling, author of “The Jungle Book.”

Don’t be afraid of hard work!

photo credit: google images