Boy meets girl 

Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy and girl get married and live happily ever–boy and girl get a divorce. 

When I was in high school I knew a couple who were madly in love, Dean and Bobbie. They were that couple that made you believe fairy tale love complete with Princesses and Prince Charmings does exist. Both in their early twenties, Dean and Bobbie were successful, attractive, adventurous, and best friends. Even though every girl I knew secretly wanted to end up with Dean, we all knew he and Bobbie belonged together. They were soulmates. Anyone else would be wrong. 

In 2006 Dean and Bobbie had the most beautiful wedding and started their happily ever after. 

I went to college and only saw them occasionally over Winter and summer breaks. They were still madly in love, still living the fairy tale.

After I graduated I realized I hadn’t seen them in a good long time. What do you do when you haven’t seen someone in a while? You look them up on Facebook. When I pulled up the names I saw one thing: DIVORCED. 

I was STUNNED. They were so in love. They completed each other. There was a time when they couldn’t live without each other. WHAT HAPPENED? 

Love is the most powerful thing in the world. If so many people believe in this, why can’t it seem to last forever? 

Because we starve it. 

A general principle in life on keeping something alive, strong, healthy is that you have to take care of it. You have to feed it. Remember those gigga pet things (sorry about the spelling!)- the electronic pet that died if you forgot to feed it one time? Hah! But in all seriousness how many of us got our gigga pet with the determination and devotion that our pet would live forever? Anyone still have a “living” gigga pet? Case and point. 

I think we think and treat love as if it somehow is self sustaining. For years we never feed it, never give it nutrition and we wake up one day to find its just gone. 

What is the key to staying in love? Feed it. What does love thrive on? ROMANCE. 

Why is love dying? Because romance is dying. Romance doesn’t necessarily mean chocolates and hearts and poems. Romance is finding out how to make your mate feel like a million bucks. Not just once, not just twice…but for the rest of your life. 

You may say, “I suck at romance! I am just not a romantic person, I don’t even know where to start with being romantic!” 

Romance is something you can learn. And if you want love that lasts a lifetime, it’s something you’ve got to learn. 

   Love isn’t how much you say it. It’s how much you prove it true. 

 

A really great book I found a while back is 1,000 Ways To Be Romantic. Literally exactly what it sounds like. Another great read on learning romance is The Five Love Languages. everyone is different, including what ways make us feel loved. 

Just remember the key to romance is the other person. Find out what makes them feel special and what makes them feel loved. 

Happily ever afters still exist. They are hard work, but the best things in life rarely come easy! 

Cheers and best wishes to your happily ever after! 😊❤️ 
  

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The Hold, a poem

The Hold, a poem

I gave you my heart

Each piece and every part.

I believed for love you had to fight

Give it your all–hold on

Each day and every night.

Happy days came and happy days went

Love is best when it is spent.

Storms came and the storms were strong

I held on for so long.

Lightning split the sky

The wind howled

The waves swelled

The thunder growled.

I held on each day and every night

Because you were worth the fight.

With the rising tide

I felt my fingers weaken

And I started to slide;

I held on tighter-

Strengthened my grip

But I continued to slip.

I looked back, I was headed for a dark sea

I could not hold on

When the only one holding on

was me.

-AK

I am someone who believes love doesn’t quit, is worth fighting for–giving your everything for. But sometimes do we give that love someone who doesn’t love us the same way?  Do we give it to someone who would quit on us?  Do we give it to someone who doesn’t fight for us? Who would let us go? Sometimes, as sad as it is, as much as it goes against our loving someone through the thick and thin, we have to let this person go. You are worth more than that! There is going to be someone out there that will love you fiercely not just kind of love you. But you won’t ever find them if you don’t let go of the wrong person.I don’t know about you but I want someone who fights for me…who is crazy in love with me….who would never let me go no matter what. That’s the kind of love that lasts a life time.

D E R E K…man or monster?

Nadia looked at her phone, afraid to see how late it was. 2:04 AM. A day spent helping about 1000 people-packs of children, moms pushing obnoxiously sized strollers, couples walking hand in hand, and huge families that decided it would be a great idea to go to the zoo for their reunion were all in her work day future. She needed to turn in, she was exhausted.  But then she heard the little ding that had been her central focus for nearly a week. That had kept her awake till nearly 3:00 AM every night. Her eyes popped back up to the screen of her mac book to see she had a juicy message waiting. Her heart beat quickened as she opened the message from him- a man she thought didn’t exist – couldn’t exist.

Two weeks ago she had been engaged.  For all her life she dreamed of finding a good man and getting married and living happily ever after. It always seemed like it would be a piece of cake. Then came a slew of crummy relationships and a quickly ended engagement. They had all led her to doubt if  her dream of happily ever after could ever happen; or if real men even existed.  She was sick of getting her heart broken. Sick of being on a roller coaster ride of emotions. She was sick of the game of dating and for now she had enough of it! Becoming a nun and living a quiet life of celibacy was an idea rolling around in her head. Perhaps things would be easier that way.

And then he came along- the man who had been keeping her awake until the wee hours of the night – the man that caused her to hope again : Derek.

da...da...da

da…da…da

He didn’t come along like the other guys. Nadia was beautiful. Strangers were daily proclaiming her beauty to her. “I just have to tell you…you’re GORGEOUS!”; “You look exactly like Olivia Wilde!” ; “I want your eyes!” ; “You’re like the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen!”  With her perfect figure, long thick golden hair, straight white teeth and bright green eyes, getting guys to notice her wasn’t difficult. In fact, getting guys NOT to notice her was the hard part. And right now she wanted nothing to do with the boys that ran around thinking they were men.

How Derek came along was subtle. He didn’t come along with a cheesy pick-up line asking for her number. He didn’t come along bragging about how much he could “lift”. He didn’t come along trying to impress her with jokes. He didn’t come along like most guys, which was why he was able to get close. He sneaked into her life through a lit-up rectangle screen and housed in a mysterious world known as …..“The Internet”.

Nadia never believed in meeting a man online and finding love by means of the internet. It was just plain weird in her mind. But here she was now…a week later, daring to believe in the impossible. Derek was so sweet and romantic. He made Nadia feel like she was the most amazing person in the world…and not just her body, her heart. He wasn’t cocky. He was humble and funny. Nadia glanced at his picture. Other than the fact he was an absolute gem personality-wise he was good looking…quite good looking. He had a dazzling smile that carved adorable dimples in his cheeks, he had big deep green and brown eyes with thick eyelashes and a full head of brown hair. He was like a thief in the night…the object of his desire…was her heart. And very quickly, he was stealing it. She read his message, her heart pounding.

“I know this is going to sound crazy…but I think I’m falling in love with you. In fact…I know it. I feel it in my heart. Do you ever just know things? I mean know them in your heart? I’ve never felt this connection with anyone…ever. I always used to think the idea of soul mates was stupid…until I met you…I feel like my soul is bonded to you somehow. Goodness! Is this crazy or what?”

Nadia gasped. It was crazy…but so romantic!  Part of her mind begged her to reconsider. Begged her to be careful. Begged her to at least wait until she met the guy when she went back to college in a week. The other part of her wanted to fall into his internet arms…confessing her love for him. They did have a strong…almost unreal connection after all. And he had made her heart feel alive and happy again. Could it be true? Could people fall in love on the internet? internet dating

A week later –

I looked at the computer screen that had an endless slide show of pictures of Nadia’s “internet man”, Derek, floating across it. He was pretty darn cute I even had to admit…in almost all of the 54 pictures he sent her. There was only one picture that confused me. A picture of “Derek” that barely looked like the handsome buck he was in all of the rest of the pictures. I actually couldn’t figure out how this person…could even be same person in the 53 other photos. Oh well. I knew I shouldn’t be shallow. According to Nadia, Derek was a rare find in a man. He was a gem. And his looks didn’t matter. Still I the whole thing was weird. I am a total romantic. I believed in love and in soul mates and I believed you could meet them in the craziest ways; but I was wary of meeting them through the internet. It just seemed so shady. So impersonal.  When Nadia told me how she thought she met “the one” two weeks after breaking up with her fiance, needless to say I was skeptical…but by the glow in her eyes I hoped it was true.

I supposed we would find out if it was true, if she had found the man of her dreams, in just about an hour…when she would met him face to face.

…To Be Continued…

What do you think of internet dating? Do you think it’s possible to find love online?