A few paragraphs from Book II!

A few paragraphs from my second book! This has a small glimpse of one of my favorite characters: Miss Sadie Bee.

Mercedes shook her head. If she thought about Kale Desmin one more time today she may as well start a fan club for him, complete with jackets and autograph signings. He was such a mystery and one she wouldn’t mind solving…at least in her wildest dreams.

She looked back at Sadie Bee’s dark, probing eyes, wondering if she should confess everything to the cook. It was after all, just the two of them in the kitchen, as it usually was every morning. It was a tradition, almost; Mercedes and Miss Bee would come down earlier than the rest of the staff, drink coffee and talk about whatever random subject was running through Miss Bee’s mind. This morning had Miss Bee sharing how she was certain mice were intelligent creatures. She said, “They got to be sorta smart if theys can manage to get cheese outta a mouse trap and not set the darn thing off.” She glared at the scrawny tabby cat lounging in the corner in a patch of sunlight. “You useless, you knows that?” Shaking her head she took a sip of her black coffee. “Sometimes I sees this one mouse, he be the leader I think, he just look at me…like he’s challenging me. It ain’t natural, that’s for sures.”

Mercedes hesitated. How she wanted to let out her secret. It was like steam trapped in a tea kettle. Sadie Bee could be trusted, but the problem was the entire house (other than Pearl and Mrs. Tyson, of course) hated Kale. Mercedes would have to bring him up in a roundabout way. “I was just…thinking…about Ka–Mr. Desmin,” she let the name hang in the air.

Miss Bee’s face scrunched, the same way it had when she found mouse droppings in the cupboard. “Why would you be thinking on him?”

“No particular reason…” Mercedes started. She drummed her fingers on the table. “But I wonder what his fiancé was like; I wonder if he loved her; I wonder why he left her.” She looked off again, reimagining the pain in Kale’s golden eyes as he spoke of the girl.

Miss Bee grunted. “Child, that man didn’t love her. No man that loves a girl would just leave her stand’n there to be publicly humiliated.”

“But–I wonder about the facts…” -Pg. 27 (Book II)

Hope Everyone is having a great weekend!

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Wings, a poem

Wings

A poem by Autumn Komzik

Down, down far below

Was a place I longed to go.

Each day I strained my eyes to see,

A place I only dreamed to be.

A little town, a mountain peak,

Grassy pastures and a crystal creek.

My friends would often come and go

And tell of the wonders down below.

I longed to join them in that place,

But I was trapped in fate’s embrace.

Separated by a chasm far and deep–

I was perched on a cliff narrow and steep.

Make the jump–it was the only way;

It was the one price required to pay.

Below the rocks were sharp as knives

There was the chance one wouldn’t survive.

I looked over the edge and hugged the wall;

I chose to stay and never to fall.

I lived my life always to dream;

I never felt the crystal stream,

Or stood on the top of the mountain peak,

Or laid in pastures grassy and sweet;

I never walked on streets of cobblestone–

I lived up here…all alone.

A life wasted, almost gone by;

I never truly lived, because I was afraid to die.

Make the jump–it was the only way

Not to waste one more day.

Now more afraid not to jump at all

I step over the edge, and take the fall.

The air around me sings,

And I discover all along, I had wings.

-Autumn Komzik

Don’t be afraid of to fail, be afraid not to try.

When life doesn’t do as we say…thoughts on waiting

Sometimes, dreams don’t come true when we want them to. Sometimes, waiting can be the most impossible feeling. Sometimes, we wonder if life will ever take us where we want to be. Sometimes, life takes us where we need to be.

I have had an interesting month…full of potentially life changing decisions. At the start of the month I have to admit, I looked at the lives of my friends around me from college and turned green with envy. Among all of our lives, I felt least successful and sort of trapped. When I was little and thought about being 26, I imagined myself traveling the world, married, having a successful career, and of course at least one book published. I was a big dreamer!  As we grow up, we realize that certain dreams can’t come true as fast as you hope and life doesn’t exactly “do as we say”.

So what do we do in the middle of waiting for our dreams to come true? A thought hit me last week. I had made the decision to turn down a job offer where I saw certain dreams of mine suddenly in reach. After my decision, of course I was like, “Crap! I totally threw my chance away!” And I really wondered if I had made the right decision. I thought to myself, Autumn, true, you may have been unhappy at work, but you would have had this…and that…you wouldn’t have been in this horrible phase of constant waiting.

stuck in traffic

We humans are impatient creatures. I mean…we LOATHE waiting for things. Take being stuck in traffic, for example. No one in their right mind says, “I LOVE traffic jams!” We all hate them! We left the house a happy and kind person and then suddenly turn into a roaring (green) beast, waving our arms, shouting, honking, about to mash things hulk. Most technology these days all has the same goal: to be faster.

I was hit with the thought, life will be full of waiting…no matter what we can invent…we will have to wait…it is just life. So what do we do, while we wait? Abraham Lincoln said, “Whatever you are…be a good one.” No matter what phase you are in life, be good one, strive to give your best. No matter what job you have, find what little ways you can excel and even learn. No matter if you are married, engaged, single, or dating be the best one…be the type of person who you would want. No matter if you are a national best seller or a writer which whom no one knows your name…don’t make any excuses, give it all you got. Waiting for things can actually be a gift. Maybe we aren’t given things now because now we aren’t ready for them as a person. Maybe if we got all of our dreams at the snap of our fingers we wouldn’t have the experience, the growth to succeed with them. Learn to take the wait and do all you can in that time so when your dreams come true, you’ll be ready. You’ll take those dreams and fly.

Poem, The Girl With Thick Framed Glasses

This is a poem I started a long time ago and finally picked up last week and finished.

The Girl With Thick Framed Glasses

Behind her glasses

Those thick-lined frames

She was one of those people everyone passes,

Disappearing in a sea of names.

Brown hair pulled into a ponytail

A smile touched her pink lips

Her skin was freckled and pale

Her cheeks the color of rose tips.

She worked in the college café

Ringing up orders, making frappes

And by brewing coffee, saving the day-

At least mine, anyway.

The girl that no one for sure knew

Was the one my throat got tight around

When I tried to say “Hi”, my legs turned to glue

My palms got sweaty, my heart would pound.

Behind those thick framed glasses

Were her beautiful eyes-

The color of ginger and molasses-

The love in them stretched to the skies.

To the world she was just a cashier

That rang up their orders each day,

No one noticed her brown hair

Shine when the sun hit it a certain way.

To the world she may not have mattered much,

Just the coffee stop on the way to their classes-

So many lives she did subtly touch,

The girl behind the thick framed glasses.

Talk to the girl that visits your dreams

Who is an angel, just without wings.

Talk to the give with the sweet face,

Whose movements are all touched with grace.

On the last day of school I had one chance

To ask her to the end of year dance.

I walked into the café-

But I couldn’t find the words to say.

“She already has a date,” I thought

“Tell her how you feel!” My courage fought.

She was the girl I longed to know-

She was beautiful, but I couldn’t tell her so.

I paused and looked at her once more-

And turned back, and out the door.

I am the girl with thick framed glasses

The girl that everyone passes

The girl that no one notices in a crowd

Even though I’m screaming so loud.

I’m the girl that needs to know

That in the middle of hundreds of lights,

Someone sees my glow.

I’m the girl that needs to know

That in this big world I am not alone

That I am wanted and longed to be known.

I wrote this with the thought that someone out there may NEED to know they are cared about. Someone out there may NEED YOU. Don’t just assume they know you care…..tell them.

Absorbed…

When I go for a run (most of the time it ends up being a walk with a sprint here and there because I cannot handle more!) so I guess IImage should say when I go for a walk, and I am alone, my thoughts will often turn to writing….and my novel. The juices start to flow, and my brain starts to create hopeful masterpieces of literature. I think about plot twists, build scenes and try to hash out the things I have written in my notebook under the section “Figure this out/Think about this”. (yes I actually have that section!)Sometimes I can get carried away…

One particular day I got off of work at 2:30pm and was out the door starting my walk at 3:10pm. I was ready to create. I was ready to dream up some words. I was needing to hash out an important scene from the climax portion of my novel….my thoughts were bound to run deep…especially since it was on my mind since the morning. When the writing creating gets into gear as I walk it’s like I am in a bubble…untouchable. My legs work like a motor-car on a track walking the same rounds I have walked about 10 MILLION TIMES.

I start off…walk. think. walk. think. attempt to run. never-mind. walk. think. walk. think. walk. think. I am totally absorbed in thought. Simply put, “Earth to Autumn. Earth to Autumn.”

Suddenly I see that I am going to pass a mailman carrying a cream, blue and red sack filled with all sorts of letters, bills and junk mail. I am sort of forced from my robotic state as I near him. It is engrained in me to offer a friendly greeting of some kind when passing a fellow walker/hiker/biker…etc. I tell my brain…which is still going wild…to stop. “DON’T BE RUDE!”

The mailman says, “Hey, how you do’n?”

I say in my most cheerful and very loudly, “GOOD MORNING!” (just in case you missed it…it was well into the afternoon!)

He scrunches his eyebrows and I walk on (this motor doesn’t stop for anyone!).

I am thinking, “Oh my gosh Autumn. Good morning? Really? You couldn’t just say ‘Hi’? Whatever…I’m sure he didn’t notice!”

Suddenly a deep voice from behind me says, “Did you just wake up or something?” Laughter follows.

I turn around, laughing and say, “I just was thinking ….I just told that guy goodmorning!”

He laughs and laughs and laughs and laughs and says, “Well, you better to get yourself a cup of coffee…or take a nap or something.”

I laugh again and add, “I guess three cups of coffee no longer cuts it!”

He is just turning pink with laughter…I really added some humor to his day! I laughed along with him at myself and then continued on course. I also noted what time of day it was.

Have you ever been so absorbed in your thoughts or novel creation that you said or did something weird or funny?