Hope

“Love comforeth like sunshine after rain.” -William Shakespeare

I know in this beautiful sentence Shakespeare is speaking of love, But I found my mind latched onto the three words at the end,”sunshine after rain.”

Sunshine after rain. Hope. Sometimes the storm you’ve been in seems as if it will never stop, youve been in clouds and darkness for so long you’ve almost forgotten what the sun feels like.

Don’t give up! You may not see it, but behind the clouds there is sunshine.

Hold on.

Hope.

Even though it feels like it, the rain won’t last forever.

Boy meets girl 

Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy and girl get married and live happily ever–boy and girl get a divorce. 

When I was in high school I knew a couple who were madly in love, Dean and Bobbie. They were that couple that made you believe fairy tale love complete with Princesses and Prince Charmings does exist. Both in their early twenties, Dean and Bobbie were successful, attractive, adventurous, and best friends. Even though every girl I knew secretly wanted to end up with Dean, we all knew he and Bobbie belonged together. They were soulmates. Anyone else would be wrong. 

In 2006 Dean and Bobbie had the most beautiful wedding and started their happily ever after. 

I went to college and only saw them occasionally over Winter and summer breaks. They were still madly in love, still living the fairy tale.

After I graduated I realized I hadn’t seen them in a good long time. What do you do when you haven’t seen someone in a while? You look them up on Facebook. When I pulled up the names I saw one thing: DIVORCED. 

I was STUNNED. They were so in love. They completed each other. There was a time when they couldn’t live without each other. WHAT HAPPENED? 

Love is the most powerful thing in the world. If so many people believe in this, why can’t it seem to last forever? 

Because we starve it. 

A general principle in life on keeping something alive, strong, healthy is that you have to take care of it. You have to feed it. Remember those gigga pet things (sorry about the spelling!)- the electronic pet that died if you forgot to feed it one time? Hah! But in all seriousness how many of us got our gigga pet with the determination and devotion that our pet would live forever? Anyone still have a “living” gigga pet? Case and point. 

I think we think and treat love as if it somehow is self sustaining. For years we never feed it, never give it nutrition and we wake up one day to find its just gone. 

What is the key to staying in love? Feed it. What does love thrive on? ROMANCE. 

Why is love dying? Because romance is dying. Romance doesn’t necessarily mean chocolates and hearts and poems. Romance is finding out how to make your mate feel like a million bucks. Not just once, not just twice…but for the rest of your life. 

You may say, “I suck at romance! I am just not a romantic person, I don’t even know where to start with being romantic!” 

Romance is something you can learn. And if you want love that lasts a lifetime, it’s something you’ve got to learn. 

   Love isn’t how much you say it. It’s how much you prove it true. 

 

A really great book I found a while back is 1,000 Ways To Be Romantic. Literally exactly what it sounds like. Another great read on learning romance is The Five Love Languages. everyone is different, including what ways make us feel loved. 

Just remember the key to romance is the other person. Find out what makes them feel special and what makes them feel loved. 

Happily ever afters still exist. They are hard work, but the best things in life rarely come easy! 

Cheers and best wishes to your happily ever after! ūüėä‚̧ԳŹ 
  

The Batman series is AMAZING. You know what makes this series so amazing? Alfred. 

Alfred has always been one of my favorite characters…he’s just kind of awesome.

Alfred is the butler, friend and unsung hero. Every hero…every person…needs an Alfred in their life-someone who will call us out, is fiercely loyal, inspires us or saves us from ourselves. 

I love quotes–I love the power a sentence or a phrase or a word can have…and how something so small can grip your heart or motivate you to action. This is one of those quotes that gives me chills! And is said by Alfred of course…


We all are going to fall. Falling is painful. Sometimes things get broken on the way down. Sometimes they get so broken we don’t even think we can get back up.

But no matter how bad the fall…GET UP. Don’t quit. GET UP. Don’t let the fall defeat you…use it to make you stronger.

Falling hurts but it also teaches us, prepares us, motivates us, and makes us stronger. 

Every superhero has fallen, failed or experienced defeat….but we still call them heroes. Why? Because when they fell they got back up. 

Thank you Alfred for your words of wisdom!

  

You are just too nice

Have people ever told you, “You know what your problem is, you are just too nice!” ?
Is there really such a thing as being too nice?

No. 

Before you start writing your rebuttal please continue reading.

I am not talking about being fake and nice…that’s called CHEESE. It’s awful!! Cheesy people are the worst! No I’m talking about nice people that are just genuinely nice. Those people you bump into or meet that leave you smiling and thinking, Gosh! That person was super awesome! I believe striving to be overflowing with kindness changes and impacts the world around you in huge ways. I believe there is enormous power in nicest….and that you are influencing and bettering a lot of lives with your kindness….and as an added bonus nice people tend to be happy people.

But…still…can one be too nice? No…but there is such a thing as allowing yourself to be taken advantage of

People call it “being too nice” but I call it the fear of confrontation and not believing or knowing your worth. 

The fear of confrontation can be a huge problem. The good news is you aren’t one of those people that pick and search for fights and cause a lot of grief to not only others but themselves as well–the bad news is you often feel unappreciated, used, like people don’t listen to or value your work or opinions, and you might just have very low self esteem. The fear of confrontation can take over your life and lead you to down a destructive path. It breaks up friendships, relationships, and opportunity. And in the long run it turns genuinely nice people in to bitter and very mean people.

How do you break the fear of confrontation?

Know your worth. You are valuable! Do you believe that? Really believe it?You have to believe that about yourself. And because you are valuable you have to learn to stand up for yourself…because you owe that to yourself. No one should be taken advantage of…but more importantly no one should allow themselves to be taken advantage of. 

Confrontation is part of life…it will happen at work, in your home, with strangers or with friends and family ….confrontation is everywhere. I hate it…it’s uncomfortable but it’s just gonna happen. If something bothers you say something…be nice (you should be good at that! ūüôā ) but say something. More often than not you will discover people don’t realize they are hurting you or know you are feeling unappreciated. And when you say something? It will clear the air, open a door, sometimes close a door, and most importantly you will be glad you said something. 

I hope this post helps someone out there! I am one of those people who wants to run and hide at the first sign of confrontation…it scares me to death! But I had to realize in the end my lack of being able to stand up or speak up about things was really, really hurting me. The more I faced confrontational situations the easier and less scary it became and the better I felt inside. I was still nice and kind but I felt stronger and more valued! 

Stand up, speak up, be nice and know your worth! 

Have a great saturday! ūüėä 

Change 

Change. 

It’s a word that makes me excited and strikes fear into my heart all at the same time. 

There’s lots of different types of change. I like to categorize them into four general groups.

The GOOD- This is the kind of change that all, any human welcomes eagerly. This change in life’s story involves something awesome happening that you’ve only dreamed of happening. And you embrace it, with all your heart. For example: You just won the lottery! 

The BAD- this change isn’t actually bad…it’s a great thing. Its change that is saving you from something bad–your saving grace. This second group of change is tough but it’s necessary. This type of change usually involves our willpower. We don’t eagerly accept it.  We fight through it because if we realize if we don’t change we are headed for disaster. Example: losing weight, getting out of a bad relationship, overcoming an addiction.

The UGLY- This type of change refers to situations in which we have no control over. It is thrust upon us without our choice.This change is usually very unexpected and often unpleasant (at first). Example: losing a job, getting bit by a super spider and becoming Spider-Man.

And then there’s that last category of change–the one the bulk of this post is about.

The CHOICE. This category of change is  when in life you find yourself facing a path which leads two, five, or seventeen different ways. Each one of them means change, you just have to decide which path to take. You know you can’t just stand there and not ever choose. These are the changes that you are in control of but often leave you with questions and the dreaded task of making a decision and sticking to it. This type of change involves taking a risk or a chance. And sometimes you don’t know how it will turn out. Haha! Can you guess which category of change I am facing right now!? ūüėČ 

As I was thinking about change and making a decision, this thought hit me. 

What really makes a good life? 

You do. 

It’s not money or a perfect job or a house on the beach…you make your life good. It’s up to you. Even though I’d love all those things….I can still be happy without them. There’s nothing more dangerous than waiting for something to happen to live and fully enjoy life. You’ve got to choose happiness where you’re at, you’ve got to choose to make the most of your life now. If you live each day to its fullest–smiling, thankful, laughing, building good relationships, loving people, helping people, exploring, etc., no matter where life takes you…rich or poor, moving here or there…you will have a good life. There are so many things we have no control over in life, but what we do have control over is our attitudes and actions. 

What’s the point of all of this? 

Change happens. Sometimes it’s good sometimes it’s bad. Sometimes you have a say in the matter and sometimes you don’t. But no matter what change brings your way…you can always be in charge of how you face it or reacte to it.

Stay positive! Do good! Make people know they matter! Try your best! Be the best possible version of yourself! Enjoy the little things! If you’re doing that…no matter what path you take, what change you embrace…it will be okay!

Kindness Counts

One of my favorite quotes has always been:

Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.

And let me just say…from personal experience…IT MATTERS.

You never know when your smiling at a stranger saved their day, or when writing someone a note or complimenting them was something they actually desperately needed.¬†I try my best to be as kind as possible to people…it just makes me happy!¬†But sometimes¬†I’ve wondered if being kind or going out of my way to be nice actually mattered. I knew¬†it made me feel good inside, but was it doing much of anything for the other person?

There’s many circumstances where we will never know what doing something nice accomplished in someone else’s life…but…I just want to say, I’ve had a rough several weeks. I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a cliff–on the verge of everything changing. I’m sure in the end it will be good and sunny, but it may¬†be rather gray¬†and stormy for a while before I see the sunlight break through. ¬†I’ve been¬†trying to smile while facing a very uncertain future, but it’s been really, really¬†hard.

What I want to say is that even though it has been hard, I’ve bumped into some incredibly nice, nice people that have helped me¬†hold onto hope, made me smile or helped me¬†believe¬†everything was going to be okay. Oh my goodness, they were my heroes and some of them had no idea!

So THANK YOU to the¬†kind people of the world! Your niceness and kindness counts…so don’t ever stop! You are making a bigger difference in the world than you know!

=)

The little seed that sprouted into a book

I was thinking today about the first little thought I had that led to the creation of my book. What was it? Where did it all begin? What was that one little seed of an idea that led to something huge–hopefully really huge, as in published huge–?

The idea of my book literally came from a dream I had a long time ago, when I was in my teens. 

Several types of people show up in dreams…there’s you, the main character; then sometimes, many times your best friends, they are the side kicks or the Robin to you, Batman; then there’s the people you think about ALOT, the Prince Charming of your dream. Of course you have your dream villains who come out in every shape and form (cafeteria lady, random customer, your arch nemesis, a cupcake….etc.). Beyond these main players in a dream you also have random people–the fillers; they make up the backdrop. I don’t know about you but half of the time I am like “who are these people?!?!” I don’t recognize them at all…not a bit! I’ve told myself they come from images my mind retained but I don’t remember at all. For example–the people you pass by in Walmart. 

Getting to the point, one of these filler people appeared more and more in my dreams….slowly working up to becoming Robin status. And I wondered if the person really existed out there somewhere. 

There was the idea. 

My book is about a girl who in her dreams is madly in love with a guy who in real life doesn’t exist….or does he? I threw in a murder and a wedding, to spice it up. 

So that’s my story on how a little thought sprouted into the creation of my book. ūüėÄ

What about you? What was the idea, life moment that led to your book? 

Short, sweet and to the point

A really short, sweet, and to the point thought on relationships:


You should be with someone you ADMIRE…for who they are and how they treat the people around them-from their family and¬†friends, to the random people they bump into on the side of the road, their waitress,¬†the person they sit next to in the metro, or¬†the homeless person on a bench.¬†How you treat the people you cross paths with¬†everyday in your life says a lot about you. Remember-you will never have a perfect person…but you want a good one.


I hope everyone’s Monday is going great, or at least the coffee is great and pulling you through ;). Speaking of coffee, I am hoping, crossing my fingers, to have a Coffee House Insider blog post tomorrow. I love coffee & tea places, and I can’t get enough of finding extra special ones in the different areas I have traveled. The one I hope to write about tomorrow delivered¬†one of the best cups of tea I have ever had…just thinking about it I want more! Anyway, if things go as planned and technology doesn’t fail on me (my phone/camera¬†has been acting up lately…if there¬†are clouds there isn’t a drop of signal…and randomly it will completely freeze, buzz, then give up and die. If you read my post about my lap top breaking down,¬†yeah…me and technology…the struggle is real) you will hear about a great coffee house¬†that if you are ever in the area, you’ve got to check out.

Half empty…or half full?

Don’t let negativity¬†steal your smile.

I was planning on sharing an update on my book progress, (Exciting things happening in the Autumn writing world!) but this just had to be shared.

Sometimes I feel like there are people out there¬†who wake up, get on their computers or go to their jobs, to school, or¬† to the grocery store¬†and literally look for ways to rain down on someone else’s happiness. What is awful is these people influence the world around them in HUGE ways. Their harsh words or attitudes¬†stick in our minds, and even if we don’t like to admit it they affect us.

I like to think of Negativity as a train, a loud train that is ever present, always honking and rumbling through the world. It is a train that is absolutely free to ride with unlimited space,¬†and it is literally begging people to jump on board. It promises the passengers that they will never have their hopes dashed or never be fooled. ¬†But what most passengers don’t look at when they get on board is where the train is headed….which is straight to Misery.

Negativity doesn’t just happen over night. It¬†can happen to anyone, take over anyone’s life. And¬†it all starts with one small choice. Maybe something bad happened, horrible even. It’s okay to be sad…heartbroken, when bad things happen. But often times we hold onto those bad things, those hurts and¬†replay them in our minds.¬†And because the bad things¬†are on our mind¬†always present even in a small way, we start to see more bad things.¬†Before long even things we once thought were so good are tainted. We are quick to point out the faults in other people and in things, and in our own misery we try and pull others down with us. (What is that quote? Misery likes company?) ¬†We think we immune to being fooled or hurt or disappointed, but instead we are losing friends and opportunities and dreams.

If you look for the bad in things you will ALWAYS find it. Bad things happen every day, which is why it is so easy to be negative.

Fight negativity with being positive. Being positive¬†(just like being negative) starts with a choice. You have to choose it. And¬†being positive doesn’t mean you have a smile on your face 24/7. Being positive is choosing to make the¬†GOOD THINGS¬†in life BIGGER than the bad things. Good things happen every day…and if you are looking for them you’ll find them. You’ll find¬†more friends, more opportunities, and you’ll simply enjoy life more. ¬†

Everyone is afraid of something

Everyone is afraid of something.

This statement doesn’t seem true all the time. There are people I know who seem absolutely fearless– people that rush into situations most of us would pause at– they are the ones to stand up when no one else can– they are the ones who are willing to put their life on the line for their country, beliefs, or another person. Many times these are the people we call heroes.

Were these people, these heroes,¬†just born with better genes….special DNA coding?

One of my fears is public speaking. Aahh! In school, I remember reading a report and shredding¬†every last corner of it¬†that wasn’t written on. My mind goes blank, I talk to fast, say “um” about a million times, and if it’s really bad my face turns red. Then¬†I can feel it turn red…and that is all I can seem to think about. According to Forbes, only about 10% of the population LOVES public speaking…so I am not alone! This fact in itself is comforting.

I had a really great teacher growing up. She was crazy! Funny! Smart! Could connect with us all. And she definitely wasn’t afraid of speaking in front of a crowd. ¬†I will never forget the day she confessed to the class that in her younger years she was gravely shy. We were all like, “No, look at you…full of jokes!” But it was the truth. She said on the first day of her being a teacher, she felt almost sick because she was so scared. She stuttered, her hands shook, and at the end of the day she wanted to cry. What if she made a huge mistake in wanting to be a teacher? But, everyday she went back…everyday she faced her fear…and slowly, with each day it got a little easier. She kept meeting that fear and slowly she conquered it.

Nelson Mandela said, “I learned that courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

Everyone is afraid of something. Even those people that seem fearless.Heroes are people that chose to face their fears, that believe whatever is on the other side of their fear¬†is more important.We are all human, and we all have fears. Whether your fear is something big or small, don’t let fear rule your life. Don’t let your¬†fear hold you back! Don’t let fear¬†keep you from accomplishing your dreams!