1,000 Waves-poem

1,000 Waves

by Autumn Komzik

 

1,000 waves across the sea

1,000 memories made up you and me.

 

Your eyes crinkled at the corners when you smiled

How the books around you, piled.

How you cut the edges off your toast,

How you liked Rock and Roll the most.

 

The waves spread across the sea,

Turning from one into an infinity.

 

The way we jumped in the leaves in the fall,

How you were so tall, and I was so small.

How you kissed me on a football field,

How in a debate about skim milk, you would never yield.

 

Our memories spread across time

Turning from one, to this entire life of mine.

 

You held me when I left my coat,

If I tickled you, you’d give up the remote.

Your eyes were blue like the ocean,

And changed color with every emotion.

 

One day the 1,000 waves hit the land,

Breaking one by one against the sand.

And like the sand,

We slipped–beautiful crystals through our hands.

1,000 “I love you’s” ended in goodbye,

A final hug, tears in our eyes.

 

How do you forget 1,000 things?

How do you let go of 1,000 dreams?

 

It’s been twenty years and 1,000 things–

Jobs, friends, lovers, wedding rings.

 

But when I visit the ocean, look out across the water

I still see

1,000 waves, you and me.

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Boy meets girl 

Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy and girl get married and live happily ever–boy and girl get a divorce. 

When I was in high school I knew a couple who were madly in love, Dean and Bobbie. They were that couple that made you believe fairy tale love complete with Princesses and Prince Charmings does exist. Both in their early twenties, Dean and Bobbie were successful, attractive, adventurous, and best friends. Even though every girl I knew secretly wanted to end up with Dean, we all knew he and Bobbie belonged together. They were soulmates. Anyone else would be wrong. 

In 2006 Dean and Bobbie had the most beautiful wedding and started their happily ever after. 

I went to college and only saw them occasionally over Winter and summer breaks. They were still madly in love, still living the fairy tale.

After I graduated I realized I hadn’t seen them in a good long time. What do you do when you haven’t seen someone in a while? You look them up on Facebook. When I pulled up the names I saw one thing: DIVORCED. 

I was STUNNED. They were so in love. They completed each other. There was a time when they couldn’t live without each other. WHAT HAPPENED? 

Love is the most powerful thing in the world. If so many people believe in this, why can’t it seem to last forever? 

Because we starve it. 

A general principle in life on keeping something alive, strong, healthy is that you have to take care of it. You have to feed it. Remember those gigga pet things (sorry about the spelling!)- the electronic pet that died if you forgot to feed it one time? Hah! But in all seriousness how many of us got our gigga pet with the determination and devotion that our pet would live forever? Anyone still have a “living” gigga pet? Case and point. 

I think we think and treat love as if it somehow is self sustaining. For years we never feed it, never give it nutrition and we wake up one day to find its just gone. 

What is the key to staying in love? Feed it. What does love thrive on? ROMANCE. 

Why is love dying? Because romance is dying. Romance doesn’t necessarily mean chocolates and hearts and poems. Romance is finding out how to make your mate feel like a million bucks. Not just once, not just twice…but for the rest of your life. 

You may say, “I suck at romance! I am just not a romantic person, I don’t even know where to start with being romantic!” 

Romance is something you can learn. And if you want love that lasts a lifetime, it’s something you’ve got to learn. 

   Love isn’t how much you say it. It’s how much you prove it true. 

 

A really great book I found a while back is 1,000 Ways To Be Romantic. Literally exactly what it sounds like. Another great read on learning romance is The Five Love Languages. everyone is different, including what ways make us feel loved. 

Just remember the key to romance is the other person. Find out what makes them feel special and what makes them feel loved. 

Happily ever afters still exist. They are hard work, but the best things in life rarely come easy! 

Cheers and best wishes to your happily ever after! 😊❤️ 
  

They Never Knew, A poem

They Never Knew

Her heels click across the floor

Pausing, she opens the old church door.

Heads across the room turn

Making her hands tremble and her cheeks burn.

Then it comes–

That quiet rush

That gentle hum

The deafening hush–

The sound of 1,000 words spoken

The silent looks seeing the 1,000 rules she’d broken.

Tears sting her eyes

And she puts her head down

A baby cries,

And an old woman frowns.

The preacher’s voice rises and falls

The whispers echo across the walls;

She sinks silently into a pew

And thinks, “If only they knew.”

They saw a girl in a short red dress

Sky-high heels, her hair a mess.

What they didn’t see

Was a silent plea;

Eyes puffy from how much she’d cried

A heart broken from watching her Father die.

She’d become an orphan the night before

She had no place to call home anymore.

When the service was over

She left the church pew

Her heart breaking,

And no one ever knew.

-AK

This doesn’t just happen in churches…it happens in schools…at work….everywhere. We are so fast to judge people without bothering to actually care about them. Gosh…we’ve got to stop!

The Hold, a poem

The Hold, a poem

I gave you my heart

Each piece and every part.

I believed for love you had to fight

Give it your all–hold on

Each day and every night.

Happy days came and happy days went

Love is best when it is spent.

Storms came and the storms were strong

I held on for so long.

Lightning split the sky

The wind howled

The waves swelled

The thunder growled.

I held on each day and every night

Because you were worth the fight.

With the rising tide

I felt my fingers weaken

And I started to slide;

I held on tighter-

Strengthened my grip

But I continued to slip.

I looked back, I was headed for a dark sea

I could not hold on

When the only one holding on

was me.

-AK

I am someone who believes love doesn’t quit, is worth fighting for–giving your everything for. But sometimes do we give that love someone who doesn’t love us the same way?  Do we give it to someone who would quit on us?  Do we give it to someone who doesn’t fight for us? Who would let us go? Sometimes, as sad as it is, as much as it goes against our loving someone through the thick and thin, we have to let this person go. You are worth more than that! There is going to be someone out there that will love you fiercely not just kind of love you. But you won’t ever find them if you don’t let go of the wrong person.I don’t know about you but I want someone who fights for me…who is crazy in love with me….who would never let me go no matter what. That’s the kind of love that lasts a life time.

What kind of hugger are you?

What Kind of Hugger are you?

This past weekend I was caught up in thinking about hugs and huggers. It started off because I had one of those blue days where I was just sad and I felt like I was in desperate need of a hug, which then led me to think even more about the many hugs I’ve experienced and given along the way. And then I ended up coming up with the following categorization of huggers.  Where do you fall in the list?

Sider slider – We have all experienced or even delivered this kind of hug. Sider sliders are slick. You reach out to hug them and somehow you end up getting a squeeze around the shoulders, from a side angle. The side sliders keep it safe. They don’t want to be rude, but they also don’t feel comfortable with full blown hugs.

awkward side hug

The Pros- The Pros are confident huggers. They know just how much to squeeze and exactly how long to hug. They usually keep it casual with a small tap on the back that seems like the “this hug is ending” signal. The Pros can read people like a book-they know who to hug and who not to hug.

 Hugaphobic – This category describes an individual who would spray raid on someone, anyone who attempted to hug them. If you have even attempted to hug an individual in this category, you probably remember that dreaded feeling that you were on the verge of death the moment you wrapped your arms around the person, but it was too late to pull back. You were committed. And once you survived the encounter, you will never make the mistake again.

no hugging

The Free Hugger- The individuals in this category of hugging probably own a “free hugs” t-shirt. No not really ;). These people walk around fearlessly giving hugs. In fact, don’t expect or even try to leave the presence of a free hugger without getting a hug. They will come find you. “I will find you….and I will hug you.”

photo credit: coolspoters.com

photo credit: coolspoters.com

Anaconda Hugger- Anaconda Huggers believe in squeezing love into people. Once you are in the grip of an anaconda hugger, take a deep breath- it may be the last breath you get to take for the next few minutes. Anaconda Huggers are usually people with huge hearts…and strong arms.

Oh Wait! You are just an Acquaintance Hugger- Huggers in this group aren’t much for hugging people they don’t know very well, but they will do it. If you have ever been on the other end of a hug delivered by a person in this category you probably remember reaching out for a firm hug (because you’ve watched them saying good byes to their friends and they give them firm, back slapping hugs)  and then felt them just slip away and the hug is over before it even began. You walk away literally feel like you’ve just been hugged by a mannequin that thought you smelled bad (and thinking I thought we were friends!).

Awkward hugger- Individuals in this group feel lost. They don’t know when to give a hug, when not to give a hug. They don’t know how long to “embrace” so it is either too long or too short. They don’t know whether to give a side hug or a full hug…and usually it ends up being a weird combination of the two. And the poor awkward huggers can’t recognize a hugaphobic when they see one….it can get ugly.

hug


 

Out of all of these categories of huggers I am a little bit of an awkward hugger and the Oh Wait! You are just an Acquaintance Hugger. Hugging friends and family is something that just comes naturally but,…I don’t know you… I don’t know you very well…I just don’t know what to do! To hug or not to hug?

We should all try to hug more. Hugs make us feel safe, they make us feel happy, they make us feel loved. If  you aren’t comfortable hugging everyone, that’s OK! Hug the people close to you…hug them more often. We all need hugs (even those of us who don’t really like getting them!)…we all need to know we are cared about. The Huffington Post has an interesting article on the health benefits of hugging called, “7 Reasons Why We Should Be Given More Hugs”. find it here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/27/health-benefits-of-huggin_n_5008616.html

the wall – a poem

The Wall

One by one the bricks were laid,

And with each brick

A wall was made.

Strong and thick the wall stood

It was a defender from evil,

But it kept out the good.

When people passed by

And saw the wall,

They had no idea why it was built at all.

The bricks were bare and plain.

It was cold to the touch,

Like a faceless name.

They never saw the beauty inside;

The wall was built

As a way to hide.

Behind those stone bricks

The most rare rose grew

But no one ever knew.

The rose was wrapped in a deep beauty

That was meant to be seen-

With ruby petals and leaves of deep green.

To the rose every person

Was the same-

They were cruel; masters of pain.

They would rip out her leaves

And trample her petals in the dirt,

They would bring her unimaginable hurt.

But hidden from the warmth of human touch

Trying to protect herself

The  rose had lost so much.

Hidden behind her self made wall,

The rose didn’t think

She was lovely at all.

Her petals would fade as time passed,

The prison she was in, would be her mold’s cast.

The same form as the walls she’d hold,

As if she was made of stones, thick and cold.

Break down the wall-

Set her free-

But then we discover

That she holds the lock and key.

-Autumn

I am someone who builds protective walls; I’ve been hurt and with each hurt a brick was laid….but I found myself trapped and unhappy. We have to learn to trust and let people in . Yeah, getting hurt is a possibly but so many happy and wonderful moments will pass us by if we don’t risk and open up.

The Glass Jar, a poem

This is a poem I wrote a few days ago about something I love and hate: change.

The Glass Jar

The glass jar hit the ground

Shattering into tiny pieces all around

Glittering-catching the sunlight

The shattered pieces were a breathtaking sight.

Never to be whole again

The glass knew this with a small pain

But it liked its’ new form-

Glittering like stars after a midnight storm.

Life is like the glass,

Changing quickly, changing fast.

In a moment the glass forever changed

All its’ pieces rearranged.

The glass was happy for a while,

A spread out, sparkling pile.

But the sparkle began to fade,

And the glass remembered for what he was made.

Life’s course takes us new ways

But sometimes we long for those past days.

Though we glitter like a star,

We long once again to be a glass jar.

Turn back time? It’s simple enough-

To pick up all the broken stuff?

The glass’s pieces were gathered together

But suddenly he knew he had changed forever.

Can life take us on a path too far-

To forget who we are?

Can we return to home’s door-

To find it is not our home anymore?

The glass jar was glued together;

His new shape was even better.

Not every piece found and no longer smooth

The light caught every flat edge and uneven groove.

The glass jar was a new shape,

Carved and molded by life’s fate.

Changed forever and yet the same

The more light he could tame;

More beauty and purpose he had found

From falling on the ground.

Change in life can be hard

We are afraid it will leave us scarred.

But change can make us stronger,

Shine more beautifully and longer.

-Autumn