Line from my second book!
Sometimes there are things we simply cannot fix or change.
I’m thinking of those moments when a friend, co-worker, family member, acquaintance is hurting. The sparkle in their eyes has been replaced with tears, they don’t smile anymore…it’s like part of them has been stolen, which is partially true. And gosh, you just want to make them smile again, take away the pain and give them sunny skies.
There is a group of personality types out there I’d like to call the “fixers” and “helpers”. Fixers and helpers are driven to, as the name suggests, fix things…if we could, we would make the world have sunshine every single day.Fixers love to see people happy and make people happy; when someone isn’t happy or is hurting, fixers instantly want to fix it, they feel driven to help. Most, if not all of us, have a certain amount of this fixer/helper personality in us…it makes you human to care about another human.
But sometimes there are things you cannot fix. Sometimes the hurt is so deep, too deep. Or the hurt and pain is something you cannot relate to at all… and you feel powerless. You want to help, but you can’t; you want to take the pain away, but you can’t. The person feels so far, so out of reach, and you don’t know what to do or say.
Today while I was at work printing paper after paper, this thought struck me: You may not be able to “fix” or take away someone’s pain…but you can be there. And just being there COUNTS. Just giving someone a hug COUNTS. Telling someone “Let me know what I can do to help” COUNTS. Even if you don’t see it, your presence counts to someone that is hurting.
People handle grief and disappointment differently…but we all appreciate when our friends and family are simply THERE for us–ready to talk to, ready to give a hug, ready to just sit in the same room with us.
Sometimes you may not feel like you are helping someone at all, you may feel like giving up…DON’T. You ARE making a difference…even if you don’t see it right now. BE AVAILABLE, GIVE PEOPLE HUGS (where words cannot go, touch often can!), AND DON’T GIVE UP…..IT COUNTS.
Such a great read!
In today’s society, it often seems as though being cold towards others is seen as being “strong,” and showing feelings and emotions is equivalent to being “weak,” especially for men. But, I do often receive comments from women telling me how ‘nice girls’ finish last just as often as nice guys do.
People say if you don’t care then you’ll never get hurt, and if you hold no expectations for others, you’ll never be disappointed. While, in theory, these statements are true – they don’t take into account one very important piece of the puzzle:
We are all human, and we all have wants, needs, and emotions. Ignoring our very most inner core is, I would argue: A weakness.
Here are seven reasons why caring is actually a strength.
You can build a support system.
It has almost become a badge of honor to say you don’t “need” someone…
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I ran across this quote and thought it was too good not to share:
“Be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody.” -Kid President
You can change someone’s life, and it’s not that hard.
Isn’t it amazing after you get a sincere and very specific to you compliment, or after someone gets you flowers for no reason at all, or after someone asks you a question and really listens, you feel recharged…important…a little more confident. Sometimes you feel more daring– you take risks…because you believe you can succeed. And sometimes…you DO succeed…life takes you places you would have never dreamed you’d be. Your life changed because someone took the time to make you feel special, like the somebody you were all along.
Challenge: Compliment someone in a very specific way. Don’t just say they are awesome, tell them very specific reasons why they are awesome. Compliment the barista that always makes your coffee ridiculously perfectly and always remembers your order (which is so confusing you’d think it was some kind of math problem); compliment a family member (sometimes, they are the ones who need to hear it the most). Yeah, this “challenge” is something so small, but small things matter…and lots of small things make a difference.
If you’d like, share your story! Or share a story of when somebody made YOU feel like a SOMEBODY.
A poem by Autumn Komzik
Down, down far below
Was a place I longed to go.
Each day I strained my eyes to see,
A place I only dreamed to be.
A little town, a mountain peak,
Grassy pastures and a crystal creek.
My friends would often come and go
And tell of the wonders down below.
I longed to join them in that place,
But I was trapped in fate’s embrace.
Separated by a chasm far and deep–
I was perched on a cliff narrow and steep.
Make the jump–it was the only way;
It was the one price required to pay.
Below the rocks were sharp as knives
There was the chance one wouldn’t survive.
I looked over the edge and hugged the wall;
I chose to stay and never to fall.
I lived my life always to dream;
I never felt the crystal stream,
Or stood on the top of the mountain peak,
Or laid in pastures grassy and sweet;
I never walked on streets of cobblestone–
I lived up here…all alone.
A life wasted, almost gone by;
I never truly lived, because I was afraid to die.
Make the jump–it was the only way
Not to waste one more day.
Now more afraid not to jump at all
I step over the edge, and take the fall.
The air around me sings,
And I discover all along, I had wings.
Don’t be afraid of to fail, be afraid not to try.